Changes
by Chi5
Summary: Tsukushi had matured and things have changed (one shot fic). Plz read and review.


[Chi's Work]  
  
Changes  
  
Time has changed. I have also changed. The kinds of food that I once liked are no longer my favorite. The clothes that I thought looked nice now look childish to me. It is not only me that have changed. The world has also changed with time. There are new technologies each day, new hopes and dreams. And so, my priority has changed. Yet, the only thing that remained unchanged is him, Tsukasa. It has too long and too many years for me to count. All I know is that I am now 25 and my once romantic fantasy in love has changed. Perhaps the society has changed me by polluting me with the society's standard and values. My innocence is long gone.  
  
After the four years that Tsukasa asked me to wait for him, true enough, he came back, just like he promised he would. Ever since the day he left, I would count the days until he comes back. Each day when I wake up, I would be happy to know that I am one day closer to the time to reunite with him. Each night after I come home from school and my part time job, I would patiently wait by the phone instead of accepting the offer to go and have fun with my friends. I would wait for Tsukasa's phone call. Hearing his voice make me forget all the harsh comments I get in school and all the hard work I do at my work place. I always thought that talking to him only once a day is not enough. I want to call him day and night. However, he doesn't want me to use my money to call him. It is as if he finally understands that money didn't just fall from the sky and into my hands. He wanted me to spend the money, that I work so hard for, on things that I like. Didn't he know that using the money to call him is the only way I want to spend my money? I asked him a few times if he could take just one or two days off to come back to Japan, but his answer is always the same, "If I have the chance to, I definitely would. With so many exotic and fun places in the world, the only place I want to be is next to you." Love at age sixteen is always true love, for I felt like I was the luckiest and happiest person on earth and perhaps in the universe. Although I didn't love him when I first met him, I did learn to fall madly in love with him by the time he helps out his family business in New York. He was my life and the center of my world.  
  
After two years of waiting, I start to get less diligent when it comes to waiting for Tsukasa's phone calls. However I would still try my best to wait for his calls. It is just that occasionally I would go out with my friends to relax. This would happen only once a month at most. Being the responsible me, I would always tell him before time not to call when I go out with my friends. Each time this happens, he is still his old stubborn self, asking if my friends are more important than him. This usually ended in an argument and each time he would call and apologize for being such a pain in the butt. His voice still soothed me when I was upset, which also added to my happiness when I am in a great mood. Each time when he called, I would tell him everything that happened to him that day. In return, he would tell me everything that happened to him. This is the only way to feel connected when in reality we are miles away. I have also stopped asking him to return to Japan. I believed that it is no use since he is busy at work.  
  
At the forth year, I have begin to work full time. I met many people and made many friends. I was too absorbed in the work that I do that I sometimes cut short the time I talk to Tsukasa. In the previous years, I would never hang up unless we have talked for at least two hours on the phone. Yet, I would now be satisfied with just half an hour of talking. I was simply too tired to stay awake to talk about all the things I saw and done during the day. Being the sweet Tsukasa, he would usually let me off the phone. Nevertheless, this wouldn't happen without a few minutes are scolding from him of why I have to work so hard when he can provide all the things I need. Even at the forth year, Tsukasa was still like the old him. He was still demanding and caring at the same time. Unlike him, even I have realized the change in me. I didn't seem as excited when I got his calls or seemed as focus when I talk to him. With all these changes in me, I still believed that he is the one and only guy in my life.  
  
The next year he finally came back. I thought I would be over joy to see him because my one and only dream had came true. When I saw in the airport, the feeling I had was slightly different than what I expected. Sure, I was glad, but I wasn't thrilled. Nonetheless, I ignored the weird feelings in me.  
  
We got married, with Tsukasa's mother still being upset, the following year. Aside from the cold eyes I get from Kaede Doumyouji, my parents were totally pleased with the arrangements. It was as if they have found a piece of new undiscovered land. We had quite a happy marriage though I can't say great. Tsukasa still loved me as if he had just found his feelings for me the first time. Conversely, my feelings toward him started to fade. I looked at him in the eyes and I could still see the unconditional love he has for me. Whereas, my eyes has grow cold and the only I see is a marriage with no future. Just before our marriage became totally dull, we produced a child of our own. I thought this could save our marriage, but I still felt that it wasn't enough. I knew I was being greedy. I had everything a woman could ask for. A loving husband, an adorable child and a great family, but I just didn't love Tsukasa. Tsukasa soon noticed the change in me and wanted to demand an answer as to why I changed when he never did. How could I answer him? He tried to be gentle with me at first when he wanted our relationship to work. When that didn't happen, he resorted to violence, which he became very guilty afterward. He was at first helpless and then angry and then finally he just gave up. Our marriage lasted for three years. Ironically, our relationship did improve after we divorced. I knew he still loved me when we ended our relationship. I also knew he wanted to free me from his grasp, so I could be care free and happy again. I refused to take money from him after we divorced. My parents thought I was crazy, since they are quite sure he can afford to feed and dress me with the tiniest effort.  
  
I think at one point earlier in my life I knew all this would happen. I was warned about it before, but I thought I could hold on to the feelings I have for Tsukasa forever. I was totally wrong and so I failed miserably in my marriage. Luckily, Tsukasa and I are still friends and we would go out every Sunday to have a family day. Occasionally, I would meet up with the F4 too. No matter what, they are still my friends and are one of the closest too.  
  
I take the hand of my current who is sitting in front of me. We have been eating breakfast for the past half an hour while I think back of my first love.  
  
"Amon, lets go. I have to get to work," I say.  
  
Amon was right all along. He was right when he told me on the bus that loving someone is hard to maintain after a certain period of time. Feeling does fade, but it is just that I refused to accept it at that time. Since time has changed, I have changed along with time. I won't shiver or tense up or blush simply by a touch of the opposite sex. I no longer think too much before I get into a relationship. As long as I love that person and that person loves me in return now, it is enough.  
  
~~~  
  
Hahaha..I dunno why I did this. This is such a boring one-shot fic. I am sure some people will get mad at me after reading this. What's wrong with me? Well, I know why. It's because I am too lazy to study for my exam..so, I start to write another fic just to have an excuse not to study. Heehee. Read and review plz. 


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